Nothing Without You
by Lethal Anxiety
Summary: *ONE-SHOT* USxUK- After the death of Alfred Arthur goes through the mourning of losing a loved one and a soul mate.


**I _do not _own the Hetalia characters nor do I claim that I do, the only thing I own is the idea of this one shot._ All characters belong to the rightful creator of Hetalia._ Please enjoy this one-shot, if it goes well maybe I will continue with this story. -Lethal Anxiety. :)**

Sitting amongst pictures spread out before me, as the tears pool down my face. Each photograph representing the cherished moments _he_ has placed into my life and secretly placed in my heart. One picture, in particular, tugs at my heart string. It was the day we first met, both of us in tuxedos for the conference in Vancouver. Grief and pain overwhelm as Alfred's face comes into my mind. Not long ago, that was us. Alfred always finding ways to make me laugh even though I tried so hard to keep a straight face. Now I m here in the dark alone, as I suffer through the grief of losing a close friend; my whole life, love, and friendship out of my reach into another life. Another picture to catch my eye is one of us embracing in the rain. That day Alfred chased me down and made the promise to me that he would never leave my side, that he would never let me walk the world alone, and that we would always face life hand in hand fighting strong. Anger bubbles in the pit of my stomach, my body shaking with rage and grief.

"You promised! You asshole, you lied to me! You promised you would never leave me, you lair!" I scream at the empty space in front of me, throwing the liquor bottle at the wall, shards of glass falling to the floor. My hands cover my face as the sobs sweep over my body into tremors.

"You... liar.." My voice softens, the tears stinging my eyes. Time past allowing for my tears to reseed and the tremors to stop. Slowly, I stagger to my feet and get the energy to get ready for the day. Standing in front of the mirror, I straighten my tie I look still look similar to the morning of the funeral. Dark circles under my eyes indicating the sleepless nights. It has only been five days since the funeral. Five days since I have left the four walls of my room. For some odd feeling, I have been compelled to go out and face the day.

The sun high up in the mid after noon sky, it only adds to the sting to the humidity in the air as it rushes into my lungs and face. _One of those days. _Alfred loved day's like today. He would pull me out of the house and grill those burgers he loved so much. Shacking my head I push back my emotions and continue on to work opting to walk instead of driving. On the way to work I walk by Alfred and mines favorite sports bar '_Hetalia'_. They have the best lunch and dinner specials in the town of England. Continuing on my way into work, I walk into the office and every body goes silent. Today is the first day back since the accident. My boss Gilbert looks the most surprised out of the others, for he knew just how close Alfred and I where.

"Oh good morning Arthur glad to have you back." He smiles being the same old Gilbert, always attempting to cheer us up.

"Morning sir." I say mirthless continuing to my desk getting straight to work. I can hear the whispers of the other staff members astonished seeing me back 'so soon'. I can already see that they have taken away most of the pictures I had on my desk, probably fearful to how I would react. With a sigh the process of catching up on the days I have missed. Working definitely distracted my focus and kept my emotions in check. Surprisingly, the time flies quickly with lunch coming and going. It has been awhile since I have sat down an eaten. I just not have had an appetite.

" Arthur, you can go now, go take a break in the lounge." Roderich says from the cubical next to mine.

"Really? I have a lot to get done at the moment in order to catch up. I will get something to eat on my way home." I say indignant my eyes taking a side glance to him hoping for him to drop it. He did and continued on with his own business. Turning to look out the window over looking the court yard the sky has dark clouds that hold the promise of rain. _I should have brought my rain gear even if it was a clear day when I left the house this morning. _ Kicking my self for being so stupid I just hope the rain will hold off til later in the night.

People began to check out for the day, one by one, every one says their good-bye's leaving me the only one left in the office. With a sigh, the day certainly went by way to face for my liking. Grabbing most of my items I turn out my desk light and turn to see that the desk that Alfred used to work at has been completely cleared. Empty. Like he did not even exist. Anger bubbles in the pit of my stomach again but I push it back again and rush out of the office and out into the weather. It is still humid however, the wind has sure picked up stronger and the chance of rain became utterly possible. _Shoot I guess I have no other choice than to stop at Hetalia's and grab a drink and food. _

"Hello welcome, would you like to sit at the bar or in a booth?" A waiter comes up to me, his eyes the brightest blue, similar to the ones I miss.

"U-um yes a booth would be nice" He nods ignoring the fact that I could be considered to be staring at him now.

" Alright this way" He gives me a charming smile leading me to a table away from the crowd. "May I bring you something to drink while you look over the menu or would you like me to take your order now" He ask taking out his note pad, not a negative tone in his voice.

"Oh just bring me a Jack Daniel's and a cheese burger please?" I ask in a trance avoiding eye contact in fear I will be captured by his eyes once more.

"Coming right up!" He says a bit of a french accent slipping out through his speech. In a timely manor out came a glass of Jack Daniel's and my cheese burger. I pick up the greasy sand which taking a bite savoring its smell and taste in hopes to latch onto the smell and memories. I have never been a fan of these American foods, however they where Alfred's and over the course of our three year relationship I too have came to love them. Taking a swing from my glass, I am hooked to the addictive numbness and buzz that comes with alcohol. One after another the drinks pile up while the grief and distress is masked away. But not for long. My head down in hopes to stop the world from spinning, someone else comes and joins me.

Glancing up I am met with blue eyes. Blue eyes that I wanted yet they belonged to someone who I did not know completely.

"Something has to be really bothering you for you to be drinking so much. You might want to be careful, you can really damage your body that way." The voice of the waiter, from earlier, breaks through the haze.

" Wh-what is it to y-you? Y- y-you are just some stranger" I slur out through the juggled mess of my mind.

"Well certainly you are in need to talk to someone with the way you are drinking so heavily. My name is Francis, Francis Bonnefoy. And you are?"

"A-Arthur K-kirkland." What? Did I really just give some strange waiter my name? God I am really losing it.

"So tell me Mr. Kirkland what has got you in this mess?" He ask a drink in his hand.

"I am going through a loss at the moment... S-someone extremely c-close to me.. he did not deserve to die" I mumble out fighting back the memory.

" I am terribly sorry, do you mind if I ask what happened to him?" He says softly, leaning in closer.

Of course I could tell him. Even when I am drunk the night of Alfred's death is fresh in my mind.

_**Flashback**_

_The morning day was all too peace full for a night like tonight, Alfred had to stay back at the office to finish some work. Usually we would go home together, but I wanted to go home and surprise him by making a special dinner for the both of us. Tonight, it will mark the anniversary of the night we decided to live together as **lovers ** it is awkward to this day to even consider what we are yet at the same time I am alright with it. _

_The kitchen is lively the smell of different foods that I attempted to cook without overcooking them failed as most looked a little overdone. However, I am sure Alfred will not mind. _

_Hours passed since he was supposed to come home and worry starts to over come me. I am just being silly. He would always come home to my worrying and claim I am just "overreacting" when really it makes me fear for his safety. _

_An hour later it is now mid night, he should not be taking this long. I pick up the land line and give a call to the office and get connected to his cubical phone; no answer. Confused and in the verge of panicking, I try every phone number I possibly can in attempts to get a hold of him to no luck. I was about to think that he went off with some one else, that he has officially got bored and let himself wonder. Yet something in my mind was certain that, that was not it and something a lot more. _

_An hour later, the phone call that shattered my life, rang on the phone. A police officer, claiming that Alfred has been killed insistently in a car accident involving a drunk driver. The drunk driver and Alfred both died at the scene of the accident. Hearing the news, my whole world launched into a downward spiral. Depression overpowers me as the news spreads and those who took pity upon me send glances of sorrow and empathy. At the funeral, the casket remained closed as we say our final good-bye's and see him off to his grave. I did not cry, for it seemed like every one else has shared the other mourners have shed the tears for themselves and me. Once home from my funeral, my life consisted of nothing but the walls that supports our home. That is where I allowed the grief to consume my every being, never once allowing for an outsider to see the tears I released. _

_**End of Flashback** _

Tears threaten to over take me and out of no where strong arms embrace me tightly. Francis. He cradles me close to his chest allowing my to cry in privacy. He does not utter a word, for that I am grateful for. As soon as I gather my self through the foggy haze of my mind, Francis lets me go. I shoot up as fast as possible I stumble a bit allowing time for my mind to catch up to my body.

"If you excuse m-me I must be going" I go to leave but a strong grip stops me.

"I will not let you drive or walk in a state like this.. At least let me walk you home so I know you make it home OK." His voice worrisome I do not dare object and allow him to walk be back home. He makes sure I get up to the poach before he turns to leave back to the restaurant.

"Arthur, if you need me at all, you know where to find me." The faint sound of his accent flows through the silent night before he disappears into the shadows. Once again, I am let alone here. I do not wish to be alone, even if in my drunken state, I know where I want to go and know for a fact I will know my way back. Stepping off the porch and going around the side of the house I walk in and out of the thick under bush and come across my goal. The cemetery. Thunder booms above my head and lightning flash across the sky with each step I take towards the headstone I am after. Rain poring down, fogging my already blurry vision. But that did not matter now, I have found it. I have found _him. _ Under the willow tree, his head stone stands proud and tall glistening in the rain and lightning.

Getting closer, I fall to my knees touching the headstone in hopes to feel a closer connection to Alfred. The tears slowly dripping down with the rain.

"Oh Alfred, I still cannot come to terms to what has came between us. The barrier that has been been placed between us. Life and death. Day and Night. Soon.. we will be once again together once more. Soon. V-Very soon" Sobs over take me, causing me to bow my head into my hands. A cold hand touches my shoulders and I quickly turn to see _him. _Staring down at my pathetic state, giving my a slight smile. A smile that causes others to smile. Oh how I miss it so, this cruel dream. Curling into a ball through the sobs I can only whisper "Alfred... Alfred" over and over again. The darkness of my mind engulfing me into unconsciousness. Alfred there arms spread wide, welcoming me to this state of mind.

My body numb, my mind silenced, my soul no longer living for the person that made it worth living forever taken off the face of the planet. Not to far after I will follow to, for his death, I can no longer be considered a living being.

My other half, we will once again be one again. Soon we will once again run through a field together hand and hand and watch as the light disappears behind the mountain. For as long as we will be together we will be one for you are my love and soul.

**END**

So that was my little short one shot for my first UsxUK I hope you guys like it. I will eventually get back to it and possibly edit it more and make some changes and what not. But other wise hope you like it, I know this made me sob a couple times just writing it and letting it sink in.

Many loves-L.A


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